Beyond Handcuffs: Bondage Restraints From Cuffs to Straitjackets

When people first start getting an itch to try out bondage, their minds unfortunately travel in the wrong direction; they start thinking about handcuffs.

Handcuffs long ago became shorthand for "naughty" play; not quite hardcore kink, but just enough beyond vanilla sex to seem adventurous. However, if you're just starting to explore bondage play, the first thing you should know is that handcuffs can be a lot of fun (we use them as part of our logo, after all), but they're for advanced bondage play. (Or perhaps intermediate.)

Handcuffs can inadvertently hurt the person who's wearing them, especially if you buy the cheap pair that you find at a local novelty store or garage sale. Those are prone to accidentally tightening around the wrist while in the throes of hot, active play, resulting in pain or even nerve damage for the wearer.

If your kink is driving you to seek out not just restraint, but specifically handcuffs with all the cultural associations attached, we recommend that you pick up professional, double-lock handcuffs. These have an extra switch on the outside of the cuffs that keeps them from closing around the wrist while the wearer is writhing around on the bed and causing the not-good kind of pain.

Beginning Bondage: Start Out With Wrist Restraints

When you start feeling that itch to do some bondage play, we recommend that you start out with a nice, comfortable pair of wrist or ankle cuffs. Cuffs are generally an inch or more wide, so that they distribute force over a greater area, rather than focusing it into a single point, like standard handcuffs do.

Practicality aside, the variety of cuffs in material, cut, texture, and color allow for an enormous amount of choice in what the submissive is going to wear — and what the tone of the scene is going to be. For instance, the most basic cuffs usually come in simple, unlined black leather like our Locking/Buckling Leather Restraints. These are a great place to start your bondage journey: They're strong and adaptable with a single D-ring on each to attach clips, ropes, or chains, and the combination of black leather and polished nickel hardware can summon scores of cultural images, from superhero comics to porn movies.

But unlined cuffs like those aren't for everyone; during very active play, the wearer's skin might chafe against the leather, leaving some less-pleasant reminders of the scene. For partners with sensitive skin, or for longer scenes, you should look at lined or padded cuffs. Fleece is a common lining; it's warm, soft, and great for keeping a sub locked up for longer periods of time. Our Fleece Lined Garment Leather Wrist Cuffs are a simple, inexpensive option to make your partner a little bit more comfortable (at least until the serious play starts). For similar, all-purpose cuffs with an even softer touch, our padded Premium Garment Leather Wrist Cuffs feature soft, lambskin lining that is the ultimate in comfort.

Beyond those basics, you have to think about how you want your cuffs to look. BDSM is essentially a performance, and setting the stage properly makes the difference between a so-so scene and one that lives forever in your memory. So while simple black cuffs might evoke dark dungeons or a Cold War interrogation room, what if you're cooking up a science fiction scene or the pleasure chambers of a decadent millionaire? What if the dominant is a mad doctor tormenting their patients?

Everyone's has their own answer to how to approach these questions. That element of creativity is what makes kink fun. It's also why we keep cranking out new collections here. The tone of your scene is going to be different if your sub is cuffed and leashed in powder-pink leather (our Stupid Cute Collection) or if they're restrained with transparent vinyl (as with our Clear-CTRL line).

The Next Steps in Bondage: Straitjackets, Spreader Bars, Armbinders, and So Much More!

Bondage is much more than wrist or ankle cuffs, something you'll quickly discover after you've experimented a little.

When using cuffs for the first time, it's common to just use the connection points to tie or chain the submissive to the bed. But even that might allow some more squirming room than you have in mind. There are a lot of ways to crank up the power of your bondage scene. To name but a few:

Rope

Like handcuffs, rope is a classic form of bondage — and also one that requires a lot of caution on the part of the person who's doing the tying. Rope tied too tightly can cause nerve damage or loss of circulation. There are some places — like the wrists, inner elbow, and ankles — where this is more likely, but people's bodies vary enough that the only real way to be sure is to periodically check in. If you're doing the tying, ask your partner to tell you if they're starting to feel tingling or numbness, especially in the extremities. And of course, always keep a pair of safety scissors nearby.

One of the big choice to make when choosing rope is what material you favor. There's a huge variety of opinions and philosophies about whether to use cotton, hemp, nylon, jute, or bamboo in bondage, but ultimately, there's no right answer. The decision is up to you and your partner, based on what feels best.

Bondage Tape

Tape is a fast, easy way to get your bondage play started, but using ordinary packing or duct tape is probably not the best way to go. Unless, of course, part of your kink is feeling the tape pull at your body hair and skin when it's removed.

A better approach is to use bondage tape, which is specially designed to stick only to itself. Using this, you get the restraint without the ickiness of adhesive sticking to your skin for the next three or four showers. And as with rope, keep your safety scissors close at hand to cut it off.

Spreader Bars

Simple but devastatingly effective, a good spreader bar is an excellent next step in bondage play. At their essence, they're nothing more than a long metal or wooden bar with attachment points or built-in cuffs. Either way, the submissive winds up with their arms or legs (or both) held far apart, allowing the dominant partner increased access.

As with all bondage, using a spreader bar requires a lot of awareness, both on the part of the sub and the dominant. If you're the one being cuffed with a spreader bar, it's very important to have a realistic sense of what's happening to your body, and how much you can take. If the muscles in your shoulders or hips are starting to feel strained, use your safe word or signal. Naturally, it's the dominant's responsibility to respond to the submissive's feedback.

Armbinders

While standard bondage wrist and ankle cuffs are only an inch or two wide, armbinders slide over the entire arm like a very long sleeve. They usually cover the hands too, so the wearer can't even use their fingers. That level of helplessness can be powerfully erotic in the right setting, but it can also become overwhelming very quickly, especially if it's your first time.

Straitjackets

Straitjackets aren't just effective means of restraint; they have centuries of mythology behind them, from Victorian mad houses to some of Houdini's most daring escapes. When you bring out a straitjacket, it doesn't go on the wearer's body; it gets deep into their head.

For a traditional medical play scene, a standard full-body straitjacket is perfect, but it does cover some of the tenderest body parts for playtime. Our designers have tweaked that a little with the Bolero Straitjacket®, available for both women's and men's bodies. The Bolero keeps the chest and nipples exposed while also keeping the top half of the body completely restricted.

One thing to keep in mind during straitjacket play (and this applies to armbinders and other methods as well) is that because the wearer's hands and arms are completely immobilized, they can't break their fall if they lose their balance. It's a good idea to keep them near a bed or chair when wearing it, or keep a hand on them while walking through the dungeon or other play space.

Want to Know More?

There's an enormous amount to know about bondage; far more than can be covered here. If you want to dive deeper into the world of restraints, join Stockroom University for A Complete Guide To Restraints on January 17, 12:30 to 2:30 PM, PST. Attend in person or via Zoom.