Gooning: An Intense Kink With an Unusual Name

What is Gooning?

Even if you're the kind of person who's been in every dungeon on a couple of continents, felt pain and pleasure in body parts you didn't even know you had, and indulged in kinks that would fill an entire of library of decadence, you could be forgiven for not knowing that term at first glance. While it's been around for at least twenty years, the word has only begun to break into common usage in the last three or four year.

If, like me, you have a little bit of an obsession with classic comic books, your first thought might have been that "gooning" is a subset of furries who have a sexual obsession with Alice the Goon, from the early Thimble Theater/Popeye comic strips.

It is not. However, thanks to Rule 34¹, I expect that definition is being applied somewhere out there.

But the kind of gooning that you'll find discussed far and wide on the internet is simpler. You don't even need a costume for it. At its core, you might say that "gooning" is just another word for "edging" — that is, masturbating (especially masturbating a dick) right up to the edge of climax, then backing off.

A better way to describe gooning is as extreme edging. Gooning sessions are meant to go on for hours at a time, and the intent is to use all of that intense sensation to create a dreamy, trance-like state. Maybe think of it like masturbation as a form of transcendental meditation. Some gooners will tell you that after a point, you start to lose the urge to orgasm — all that matters is staying in "goon space" and thrilling to the meditative, near-hypnotic sensation that it brings.

Why is It Called Gooning?

By now, you might be wondering where the name comes from, since gooning clearly has nothing to do with either the Popeye character, or the big lumbering guys who go around the city collecting "protection" from local businesses.

The name comes from the so-called "goon face" that practitioners are said to have when they finally reach that blissful, dreamy state. The stereotypical goon face involves the gooner's eyes rolling back in their head or crossing, while their tongue sticks out of their mouth. Some people like to describe drool running down the chin. In other words, the gooner is just so overwhelmed by sensation that they completely lose muscle control and focus on the outside world.

Who Goons, and How?

Most of the basic information about gooning focuses on it as an activity done 1) solo and 2) by cisgender men, usually heterosexual. But as soon as you start digging a little deeper, you'll find that neither of those things are necessarily true.

For one things, gooning can be done no matter what kind of equipment you've got down there. Reddit has several very sizeable gooning subreddits, including GoonetteHub, which has firm rules against male-identified posters. GoonetteHub is strictly intended for women — either trans or cis — who love the gooning experience.

Although gooning communities tend to default to a focus on straight men, you should be able to find gooning material for every gender and orientation out there, from queer men to femboys to women.

And of course, coming back to Rule 34 (because all discussions about sex come back there eventually,) gooning has created its own niche of porn and webcam models. Gooning porn is available from either side of the action; either a model who goons for the camera, or breaks the fourth wall to encourage you to keep rubbing until you hit that beautiful goon headspace.

Is Gooning a Kink?

Even in normally open-minded kink communities, the mention of gooning often elicits a giggle or an exhausted eye roll. It's not hard to see why; it's got a strange, kind of goofy name, and if you're an old-school kinkster, it might seem to lack the gravitas and history of shibari or classic sadomasochism. The gooning equivalent of The Story of O has yet to be written, after all.

But look beyond the unusual name, and you'll very quickly see that gooning incorporates a lot of the classic dynamics of BDSM. Although gooning is typically thought of as a solo activity, a lot of gooners have a goon mommy or daddy that they perform for. That can take the form of either encouragement ("Yes, baby, keep going!") or humiliation ("Is that the best you can do?"). With regard to the latter, the theme of being helplessly addicted to porn, masturbation, or both is a recurring theme in goon communities.

How Do I Get Started in Gooning?

By adulthood, most of us have figured out the basic mechanics of masturbation, and how our bodies in particular respond to stimulation. And there you have your first clue: There really is no right way to goon. There will inevitably be someone out there who claims that they have discovered The One True Way™ — but you're going to find those same people lurking in any sexual community. They should always be ignored.

If there is a secret then, it's to listen to your own body and take care of it. Gooning is marathon masturbation, and just like running a marathon, you need to make sure that you're well-hydrated and comfortable for the long run. Keep a bottle of water and maybe some snacks nearby.

Part of the long run is also realizing that you might not hit the "goon headspace" the first time — or the second, or the third. It may very well take some patience on your part.

As we come to the end of Locktober, some of you boys, girls, and enbies who have been spending the month locked up and staying chaste might want to see if your keyholder wants to celebrate your accomplishment with a gooning session. In a way, it would take even greater restraint than being locked up in a cage, but it seems an appropriate way to end a month of self-control.

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